I happen to write this with a guilty conscience and a confused soul. I used to be the kind of person who supported the general notion that men remain rooted to a relationship until his woman hints him towards tying the nuptials. I never had a strong reason to back up my statement except for the melodramas my eyes had witnessed in movies since the time I had my mind ticking. But after licking dry the experience gathered in my 23 years of life, I have proved my hypothesis wrong.
When a relationship is true and when its depth is boundless, a man drowns in its sweet symphony and never dreams of being rescued. He goes in all lengths and fights all odds to just make it work with you. But a woman caresses her man with her unconditional love while living with the list in her mind about his faults and his shortcomings. She wants to see him grow and she wants to be a part of his growth. She doesn’t want her Mr. Right packed and delivered but wants to be the one who manufactured him. She wants to be his mother, which later ruins their relationship.
I loved him for the man he almost was. The chemistry between us, the infinite love from both sides and his amazing virtues, made me believe that he is the one I want to invest my future on. I beautifully ignored the adjustments I was making because I was in love, pure and deep love. But my mind and my conscience revolted against my heart and pinched me now and then reminding me that adjustments where part of marriage not love affairs. Why be in a relationship when you feel guilty about it? Why force yourself to prioritize someone when you know your priority is something else. Why settle in for the almost man for you with your adoration and your succulent love are just being a hindrance to his success. Men never grow until they are challenged and till you smother him with you adoration, he shall never grow.
Sometimes women think they don’t deserve Mr Right. I still think ‘what if I never find someone who loves me the way he did?’ or ‘what if the man I marry never trusts me the way he did?’ But now I have come to peace with this and have given the universe a chance to prove my notions wrong. I believe I deserve Mr Right and my almost man might be someone else’s Mr. Right. I was his ‘Almost woman’ for I was just slowing him down with my blind adoration. Our future just wasn’t linked.
But if only Mr. Right was as enticing as the Almost man. You my almost man will always be the one with my heart.
P.S- Sometimes I feel that I made a huge mistake, but most of the times I feel at peace for I don’t feel guilty anymore. But I don’t regret my past for it was beautiful. But I pray my future does not punish me for it.
P.P.S- “ As soon as forever is through, I will be over you” –TOTO
P.P.P.S- Not the humour post you looked forward to? Sometimes the soul needs to vent.